Abstract to concrete.

It ends.

Five days of ethereal fantasy came crashing down on me.
My hope that eveything will work out fine, that he'll communicate with me, that he'll stay strong was all gone.
My hunch that I'm just someone to pass the time with was true. I wish I had the guts to stop lovin him and listened to my friends.
They knew him better than I did...But who can blame me? Can I stop myself from loving my true love? It may sound cheesy but that's how I feel. I don't know with him... Well, I guess I know now...
I must be the most unlucky person in the world... The person whom I wanted to spend my life with was just an ordinary playboy, wanting to have a good time wilst in another country.
I'm pathetic right? I know I am...

Let's Runaway.

I never believed in Long Distance Relationships... Sure, there are  a lot of people doing that now, even my friends have a LDR. But I didn't like LDR. Not one bit. My parents used LDR to get away from each other and now they're separated, so I clearly have an issue with Long Distance Relationships. But I guess I don't have a choice now that I've found him. Or maybe he found me? He's leaving today and I'll never see him again...well, not for a very long time. And the thing that irks me most is that we didn't commit.. Yes I know he's the one for me but for him, am I the right one? It sucks to be
the only one stranded and loving. I know I am an unlucky person but I didn't think I would be this unlucky!
I'm guessing now he's laughing his ass off knowing he left behind a stupid, love-struck girl. But part of me wants to think that he's thinking of me...Wishing that his flight was delayed or wishing he could stay for a bit longer. Pipe dreams I may have but it never hurts to dream...that's all I have.

My friends told me that he's just messing with me and to give up on him. But how can I give up on true love? Whatever his decision may be, mine is final. There's nothing I can really do if he'll go on dating other women in the other side of the world. It will hurt but I can't do anything about it. It may take longer to say that I'm happy for him, but I'll get there..someday.
He said he would wait for me... Can I really believe that? Knowing there's a lot of distractions over there with him? Who am I to those sexy, flawless, white, tall American beauties? No one. I can't even compare myself even inch of their "Godly Beauty". I guess all I have is attitude, which is even not enough to attract him much longer.
I know I'm wallowing myself in self-pity but I'm an insecure person... I couldn't even call myself a girl not until someone told me those bumps on my chest are called Boobs and only girls have it, unless you're a transvestite..Are you? So I don't have anything to bind myself to him. I may not like Twilight but I want myself to be Bella; no matter how ugly you are, some perfect guy sees you like your a goddess and falls for you completely. But I'm not. And he looks more like Jacob Black than that Freaky Edward Cullen (=.=).


WAAAAA~!Damnnit! I Miss him... too much it hurts..My smile when I said goodbye was so forced It hurt. i want him to be all mine but i can't have him...
I am Unlucky.
That's that.
I'm hoping maybe someday life would be so ever kind to me.



True love Suxs...But I'm still hoping and waiting...
<3